On Wednesday this week, I heard that Gijs, one of my students at the HvA, had died suddenly at the age of 26. I liked Gijs; he was a likable, friendly, enthusiastic guy. All the teachers liked him. Students too. He's the kind of person who probably has had very few enemies. At that moment, I felt like the world was slipping away, a black hole opening up, immense sadness overcome me although I have only known Gijs since September this year.
The reason for that mountain of emotion is, I think, what I refer to in the title, as the Domino Effect. When you have already experienced grief in your life, and then you are later faced with another moment of grief, you may feel as if the new grief echoes the old one. In other words, I was not only feeling sad because of Gijs, but also feeling for a while the way I felt when my own son died. So many familiar feelings welled up inside of me. It's unfair, he's too young, could I have done something to prevent this?
The reason for that mountain of emotion is, I think, what I refer to in the title, as the Domino Effect. When you have already experienced grief in your life, and then you are later faced with another moment of grief, you may feel as if the new grief echoes the old one. In other words, I was not only feeling sad because of Gijs, but also feeling for a while the way I felt when my own son died. So many familiar feelings welled up inside of me. It's unfair, he's too young, could I have done something to prevent this?
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